Take care of yourself.

This post is going to be short, but hopefully to the point.

This week  I dealt with a very difficult situation. One of my friends expressed to me their thoughts on how “they no longer had anything to live for”. I’m not ready to put the specifics out there, but the situation was really tough and went a lot further than just the previous quote.

Just know that no matter what, you always have something to live for. Even if you’re going through a rough time, know that you have people who care about you, there are people out there who want to help you.

Don’t make a permanent decision based off of temporary feelings. My friend is extremely sorry that she had brought me into her problems, but I was glad she did. If she hadn’t reached out to me, she may have acted on her thoughts, and I wouldn’t have been able to get her the help she needed.

Listen to your body, and accept that it is okay to ask for help. Admitting that you need help is the strongest thing you can do, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you smart.

If you or anyone you know may be experiencing suicidal thoughts here are a couple numbers you can call/text to get help 24 hours a day:

Crisis Text Line: Text “GO” to 741741

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

You are not alone.

Take care of yourself. 

Take Extravagant Pleasure In Being Alive

Anybody that attended Plymouth State University in the fall of 2015 knows that it was an exceptionally difficult semester. College is stressful, packed with deadlines and papers, all while trying to balance school as well as a social life.

The Fall 2015 semester at PSU was a different kind of difficult, hearts were broken, and before they could begin to heal they were ripped out again.Within a time frame of about 3 weeks the Plymouth State Community lost two students; Jake Nawn and Mason Cliche. I did not know Jake personally, but I know a bunch of people who did, and I know that the bond they shared was special and is something that cannot be taken away from them.

I did know Mason.

I first met Mason, 2 years ago when I was assigned to the Men’s Soccer Team for athletic training. The first thing I noticed about him was how he was goofy, and always had a smile, he always made sure his teammates were happy and if they weren’t he did whatever he had to do to change that. We had the same Coaching Effectiveness class and worked in the same group; he was just as friendly to people he didn’t know as he was to his friends.

I was never as close to him as most of his friends were, but between working with his team and having some classes together we had gotten to know each other on a level that was more than, ” just some person I had class with”.

During the Fall Semester of 2015 Mason and I were in the same Nutrition Class. We didn’t have assigned seats, but I always took the seat in the back right corner, and Mason always sat right in front of me. It became sort of a routine: Tuesdays he would sit down, turn around, and ask me how my weekend was and ask if there was any homework due, he’d put his headphones in and daydream for most of the class. At the end of class he would turn around, ask if there was anything due on Thursday, and tell me to have a good rest of my day. Thursdays were pretty much the same, it was an ongoing cycle.

There was one day he didn’t show up to class and we were picking partners for our presentations. I told the professor we would be working together and then snuck on my phone to fill him in, he was very appreciative.

November 16, 2015- Presentation Day

We showed up to class wearing almost identical outfits. Grey beanies, red flannels, and boots. Going up the elevator I laughed and told him how we looked like complete dorks. He smiled and said it was great and that we looked like we planned it, I told him that made it worse. We laughed it off and got ready to present. Somehow we didn’t send the completed presentation to the professor so we had to awkwardly stand in the front of the class and find it. Once we got it Mason started off with his well known smile and said, ” Hi, I’m Mason, and this is Bre”. When we finished the presentation Mason was nervous because he didn’t realize that he wouldn’t be able to see his notes on the actual presentation, I assured him he did fine without them. Once we sat back down, he turned around and gave a high five. We did it, the presentation was done!

November 18, 2015- Exam

The last conversation we had was about the exam we had just taken, and then he told me to have a nice break and a Happy Thanksgiving, I wished the same for him.

Mason passed away November 29, 2015.

His passing brought together his friends and family, I made some friends that I wouldn’t know if it weren’t for him. His passing also introduced the word ‘NUANAARPUQ’. It is an Inuit word meaning, “to take extravagant pleasure in being alive”.  I could explain how this started but it would just be easier if you checked out the following website and article- http://nuanaarpuq.com/blog-five/the-meaning-of-nuanaarpuq  . The author doesn’t say his name, but the linked post is about Mason.

This past weekend I went to the PSU vs USM Men’s Soccer game. Before this game I had received a message from Mason’s mom, she asked if I was going to be attending the game and let me know they would be bringing homemade chili and hot dogs, she told me to come see them-they come to all the home games. I had met her before, but never had the chance to really talk to her on a personal level. She is one of the nicest people I have ever met along with her husband, Mason’s father. Meeting both of them showed me that there was no question why Mason was the person he was. His family gives nothing but love and kindness to everyone, it is inspiring.

I knew I wanted to talk about Mason and how I knew him and what I learned from knowing him, but I didn’t know when I wanted to do that. After seeing his family this past weekend, this was my time.

It is easy to get caught up in the little things, but try not to. Take each day as it comes, smile more, do something you’ve always wanted to do, and most importantly: Take Extravagant Pleasure In Being Alive. 

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Tattoo on my right forearm.

Don’t Forget to Remember…

Last week was not my week.

Tuesday I showed up to a class unaware of the fact that we had an assignment due, I felt like an idiot. I also forgot to submit the link for last weeks blog post which I had completed early in the week, felt like a bigger idiot. Remembering things just wasn’t going well for me.

Instead of getting worked up and upset over the fact that I had missed not one but two assignments last week, I took it as a learning experience.

  1. Remember to check Moodle daily
  2. Double check Moodle
  3. Make sure all assignments are completed and submitted
  4. Double check assignments
  5. Triple check just incase

I was not happy with the fact that I missed two assignments, but at least I know I won’t make that mistake again! Luckily I have the whole rest of the semester to make sure I don’t slack on my grades!

I realized that I’ve been getting too caught up in things and I’m not taking the time to step back and relax. I’ve basically been running around like a chicken with its head cut off and I don’t even know why, my life isn’t that busy, it’s actually quite laid back and relaxing.

I just have to remember to take each day as it comes, relax a little bit, and don’t forget to remember the simple things.

My Monday was as cliche’ as a Monday could be…But I’m grateful.

I should have known from the start that yesterday (9/26) was going to be a dreadful day.

I woke up in a panic at 9:50am. My first class started in 20 minutes, and I’m usually out the door at 10:00am. My alarm was set for the proper time, 9:05am, but was set for Tuesday..It was Monday. It was fairly easy to get ready; quickly throw on yesterday’s sweats, find a clean shirt, brush teeth, throw hair up, and call it a day. Somehow I managed to make it to class on time. It was my ‘skating for fitness’ class. We played corn hole on the ice… it was interesting. Every time the beanbag hit the board, the board slid back an inch or two. Needless to say it was fun, even though we didn’t do the skating we were supposed to do after each game…oops.

That was my only class for the day, so I figured the rest of the day would be a breeze…Oh, was I wrong. Very wrong.

Pulling back into the driveway at my apartment my car bottomed out… as always. Our driveway sucks at getting into and out of. But if you ask the landlord, it’s either the town’s fault for not fixing the road or it’s our fault for not knowing how to drive on the crappy drive way…basically asking non-4wheel drive cars, to go off roading every time we pull in or out of the driveway. Anyways, as I go to park I noticed my brakes felt funny. I don’t know much about cars, but I know when mine doesn’t feel right. Not knowing what was wrong, I turned the car off, turned it back on, put it in reverse, and took it for a quick spin around the circle of road that surrounds my apartment. It still didn’t feel right, if anything it felt worse.

I knew there was a car shop/gas station on Main Street so I decided to bring it there. I knew this was a risky call, seeing as it took my car a good three feet to come to a full stop. I get to the shop and explain that my brakes felt “weird”. The worker asked if they felt “spongy”. I don’t know? I just know they didn’t feel right, and apparently weren’t working right either. He had me turn my car on and get out so he could step on the brakes and see what I meant by,  ” feeling weird”. He agreed they didn’t feel normal and then had me switch places with him. I pressed the brake and he looked under the car.

He found the problem.

“YOUR BRAKE LINE IS SNAPPED!  COME LOOK AT THIS!”

And at that same moment in big bold letters…

*BRAKE FLUID* flashed up on my dash.

I jump out of the car only to find  brake fluid gushing from near my right front tire. Great, just great. The man then proceeds to tell me how they don’t currently do work on cars there but up at their other location on they do. “You’re alright with leaving your car here, so they can tow it up there and get a better look at it?” he asks, I responded with, ” I don’t really have much of a choice now, do I?”, “No, I guess you’re right”. I left my keys along with my contact information, and walked home.

On my walk home I called my parents, only to get both answering machines. I left them each a message letting them know what happened and told them to get back to me when they could. During my walk I realized how badly my drive could have ended. Not only could I have hurt myself, I could have hurt someone else. Driving that car was not a good idea, if only I knew that before hand… I went to go speak with the landlord about how angry I was and see about getting the driveway fixed, but at this time my mom called back.

I explained everything, from the crappy driveway to the drive to the car shop, which ended in me freaking out about what could have happened while driving the car. She calmed me down saying that it’s only a car and can be fixed, the only thing that mattered was that I was okay. Physically I was great, mentally I was a complete wreck. I was so rattled at this point that I decided not to go talk to the landlord, I just went home and curled up in bed. Later on I had spoken to my mom again about how the car was going to get paid for and what not. The mechanic at the shop called me with the estimate-which was a lot cheaper than I expected- I questioned her about the tow and she told me that they weren’t going to charge me for the tow, which I thought was very nice. My parents were even so generous to deposit money into my bank account so I could pay for the repairs.

Now let me wrap this us.

I am grateful that nobody, including myself got injured, as someone could have easily been injured while I was driving with no brakes.

I am grateful for the shop for not charging me for towing, that easily could have been another hundred dollars at least.

I am grateful for my parents, for being there for me when I need them. For them giving me money to pay for the repairs, they could have easily turned this into a ” life lesson” but they didn’t they helped me out.

I am grateful for whoever was watching over me yesterday.

Lastly, I am grateful that my brakes decided to go now, and not at the end of October when I drive 4 hours to go home to Connecticut to surprise my little brother on his 10th birthday.

Bad things happen, but they could always be worse.

be-grateful

Photo Credit: here

 

 

New Adventures & New Pets

I have often found myself bored with nothing to do when I’m not at class or working, usually I end up watching Netflix or taking a nap. I figured it was time I did something spontaneous to save me from my boredom.  What better way than to go out and spend $100+ on new pets!?

My boyfriend has a couple of degus, they are adorable little rodents, I explain them as “mini chinchillas”. I will explain more on them later but if you want to know more right now, click here: ( yes it’s a wikipedia post, but its better than nothing) . I have been tired of seeing his snapchats of his degus because quite frankly, I want some of my own.

Alright, story time:

Friday:

After a regular trip to Walmart with my friends, I asked if we could stop at the pet store on the way back. I was curious to see if they had the adorable little rodents that I wanted so badly. Guess what?! They did! They had two babies, they’re sisters*.  I couldn’t get them right away because I needed to free space in the fish tank I currently was using at home..yes, fish tank..don’t worry, I will explain shortly..

After getting the “OK” from my mother, and the landlord to get the little rascals, I went online and ordered a “tank topper”. A tank topper is a cage that goes on top of a fish tank, turing the tank into a rodent cage. I found a picture online which shows exactly what I bought.

I had also bought a wheel, and dust bath. As chinchillas do, degus bathe themselves in dust baths. I chose to buy these items off of Amazon because they were noticeably cheaper than they were at the pet store, as a college student, I’ll do everything I can to save a few bucks. I even started a free trial of Amazon Prime in order to get free 2-day shipping! Anyways, everything else that I needed to buy -including the degus- were all at the pet store!

Saturday:

So about that fish tank I needed to “make space in”…

I had a fish tank currently being called “home” by a few fish and a couple snails, but lately the fish had been beating on each other -which resulted in a fishy funeral last week. I figured I would let the pet store “adopt” them back so they can find new homes, maybe now they can get new owners that will have a big enough tank so they don’t feel the need to be so territorial…fingers crossed. The fish were dropped off at the store each in their own little bag, and with that I said my last goodbyes to them..good luck little guys, don’t eat anyone else!

My friend was working so she knew exactly why I was there, she told me she was going to bring the fish to the back (where the other fish are), and then she would get me my fur babies! While she took care of the fish I went and collected the rest of the items I needed; degu food, a chewable hut -because who doesn’t want to eat the thing they live in?- a water bottle, and a bowl to put the dust bath in. I assembled everything onto the counter and got ready to meet my new little pets. She asked me if I wanted to hold them before she put them in their “to go box”, I wanted to say “no” just so I could hurry out of there and get them home, but I figured I should probably meet them before I took them away from the only place they’ve known for the last 2 months. They climbed all over me and I got a little overwhelmed over the fact that there was only one of me to control the two of them.

*Like I had stated earlier, I was originally told they were sisters…well, their mother had been previously sold and they didn’t know she was pregnant. When the owner brought the babies back she had told them that they were boys, someone at the pet store checked and said they were girls…both myself and my friend -the one who sold them to me- think they are boys. So for now, until further notice, they are boys, Gizmo and Gadget.

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One of my fur babies

My latest spontaneous adventure, landed me with two little adorable fur babies, I’ve only had them for 4 days now, and I am already in love with them. Once they get more familiar with me, I will start teaching them tricks and commands- did I mention they are very smart??

Just live each day as it comes, and maybe you too will end up with a cute new pet or two.

p.s they talk to each other at night and it is the  cutest little squeak.

Life’s Simple, People Make It Complicated.

This week’s inspiration was given to me by my boyfriend during a text conversation we had last week. He had asked me a sarcastic question-which I took seriously- who can really tell over text?? He thought my response was interesting but had told me he was only joking. This didn’t surprise me because most of our conversations [in person] are filled with sarcasm and witty remarks.img_9240

Above is a screenshot from part of our conversation (clearly spell check wasn’t working in his favor). His comment,“Life’s simple people make it complicated”, really made me think, and it is absolutely true. I could relate this to so many different things, but the main topic that stands out most to me personally ,is our relationship. I’ll give you quick little backstory:

  • Met at work over the summer
  • Ended up liking each other
  • Boy goes to school in England
  • Girl goes to school in New Hampshire (duh)
  • Still managing to like each other despite 3,130 miles of distance

I realized that even though we are so far away from each other we have not let that bother us, and we somehow manage to make it feel like we don’t have 3 thousand miles between us. Which brings me back to “Life’s simple people make it complicated”, things have been simple because we aren’t  looking to make it complicated (which could have been really easy to do).

We aren’t looking for little things to argue or worry about, we aren’t going into everyday thinking that it isn’t going to work. We are staying positive, taking it day by day, and hoping for the best. And that’s how I try to live everyday no matter what the situation is. If you stay positive, and don’t sweat the little things, life will seem to come a lot easier.

Remember, when you’re having a bad day and nothing seems to be going right, take a step back and try changing your mindset. Sometimes it just takes a moment to breathe, be positive, and your luck might just turn around. Like someone once told me, Life is simple, people make it complicated.

It’s not destination, it’s the journey.

How many of us get involved in something, whether it be a relationship, a club, a sports team, etc., and get too interested in what the outcome will be, instead of thinking about the things that will make whatever it is, successful?

The JourneyLink to photo here.

Many times I have found myself getting caught up in what I expect the outcome to be rather than focusing on what I have to do in order to get there. How do I except to be successful if I don’t have a plan?

If we go into something with an outcome in mind but without a plan, we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment. In order to achieve a goal we need a plan, and then we need to put that plan into action. We can’t except a good outcome if we don’t put in effort to get there.

In the end, we may find that our expectations were set a little too high or maybe not high enough. Sometimes the outcome was not what we expected, but that doesn’t mean it was bad. Sometimes the outcome is more than we expected, and isn’t that always nice? But what if it was less? Then that means you take what you learned along the way, and find a new way to get what you wanted. It is important to know that  we may have the perfect plan set in place, and sometimes we still don’t get what we want, and that is okay.

Things happen along the way that may force our plan to change. The original plan is not set in stone, and that is important to understand. Life throws curveballs and as long as we don’t let them strike us out, we are all set.

In the end it doesn’t matter where we go, or how we do (well, not always true. But right now pretend it is). What matters is how we got from one point to the other. ” It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey to get there.”  The destination is always exciting, but how we get there often teaches us so much more, we just need to open our eyes, and take in everything we can. Don’t miss out on opportunities to learn, grow, and have fun, just because you were too focused on how something was “supposed to be”.